After a long pause, here’s me breaking the silence.
In the year and a half since I last wrote, I completed my senior year of college at Liberty University, graduated with a Bachelor of Arts in Biblical Studies, and have been working a full-time job with the university.
But other things have happened too. I ended a deep friendship and it ached for many months. I lost communication with old friends who moved away after graduating. I lost communication with deep friends from camp who had to get jobs and livelihoods. I spent nearly four months after graduation desperately searching for a job before finally getting one. And my job’s abnormal hours and mentally-strenuous nature have isolated me. On top of all that, in the last two months I hit a point of depression that was absolutely unbearable.
One would think, You know that suffering happens, and things on Earth are temporary. You know that God is good, and that He is always with you. What’s wrong? You literally have a degree that says you know this.
And they’d be right. But here’s the point of humanness: I have a diploma in my closet that certifies that I have this knowledge – I could even teach it, and I have – but faith is an interplay, and trust is something that I’ve always struggled with. Knowledge is not the same as trust.